Tuesday, October 6, 2009

A BIG step in the RIGHT direction

(wife posting)

Last week I followed through with the promise I had made to myself to attend a 12-step group for those that love someone who is an sex addict. I really didn't want to go but I felt the spirit so strongly as if someone was literally taking me by the hand and pulling me there. To my surprise my husband came with me. I attended the group for the spouses and he attended the group for the addicts. As I walked into the room I felt a wave of emotions... fear, anger, resentment... and then something I didn't expect...the Spirit, it filled the room, it was undeniable and extremely powerful. As I looked into the faces of these women (and a few men) it was as if I could see right to their soul, I could see the pain in their eyes, pain that I am all to familiar with, but I also noticed those that seemed to be more at peace with their trials. I have no doubt that even those that seemed more in control of their emotions and in a better place than I am currently still have very difficult times, but seeing them working through their trials and 'recovering' gave me so much peace to know that someday, hopefully soon, I too can be in a better place.

I really didn't know what to expect going to this group. I was very pleasantly surprised by what a humbling and wonderful experience it was for both me and my husband. After the meetings were over and my husband and I got back in our car we were able to talk privately about what we each thought about the meetings. It was so nice to hear what an eye opening experience this had been for my husband, he said things to me that I never expected to hear from him, it was a answer to so many of my prayers over the last six years. (I will leave it up to him to decide if he should share his personal experience or not.)

Things between my husband and I have been so much better since we attended these meetings together. I feel like we are really starting to grasp what it means to truly turn our lives over to the Lord and follow HIS will no matter how hard it may be. I have found this past week that it has been easier to make sure we are saying our prayers together as a couple, to read the scriptures and pray individually, and to feel connected as a couple. I know that we were blessed with strength in these areas because we followed the Lords will over our own. Neither my husband or I really WANTED to go to these meetings, it is never easy to FACE our problems, but it is what we NEEDED to do and I am grateful to the Lord for granting us the strength to follow through.

If you would like more information about the 12-step group that we attended please email us at


  1. It is so good to hear about your experience at the LDS 12 step program. My husband and I also attend this program and have for the last two years. My husband was addicted to perscription drugs. The ARP has saved his life and our family. I have never felt the Spirit so strong anywhere. I know we have a Savior who loves each one of us. He knows our weaknesses and will help us if we will let him.
    Thank you for your blog.

  2. I too have been to the Church ARP and have found it helpful as a wife of an addict. Reading the above comment gives me hope. We are new comers to the addiction road. My husband is presently in treatment - 17days now, so things are fresh and unfolding still. Interesting enough, things with us all came out into the open when I started focusing on me. My husband never really made promises but would start things and not complete them due to him not feeling well. So I have a whole bunch of 1/2 started projects that are driving me crazy. A couple months ago, I decided that since I couldn't motivate him I motivate me. Long story short...things one after another have lead us to where we are today. I do miss him so but am realizing in ways I had no idea were enabling and not helpful. So I live, learn, grow and love. I shall visit your blog again I'm sure. Thanks for your courage to blog.