Sunday, March 21, 2010

march maddness!!!

I am sure anyone reading this blog is thinking about the ncaa tournament, but I am actually thinking about the maddness my life can seem like at this time of year. My wife is in school, we have 3 soccer games a week, I am self employed so I have to work random times, while also trying to work in important time for family and service, trying to workout, do spring projects, and of course attend the temple, and finally , yes, keep up with the ncaa tournament. I look at all that and sometimes I don't feel adequate to the tasks in front of me. I need to write in this blog for reasons just like this because as I write these feelings I have bring thoughts to mind that remind me why I am here and the purpose of our lives. I know all the things I mentioned earlier are important but at the end of the day I want to be the kind of man that knows what really matters most and can set his priorities accordingly.

How does all this relate to my addiction? I think it is at the core. I have to know where my priorities are and have them in order if I am to ever overcome this addiction or any other shortcoming. It is the ability to not give into my lusts and cravings and have the will power in place to realize and walk away from those feelings that will give me freedom from my addiction.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Time for a POST

(wife posting)

(We all feel like this sometimes, Right?)

It has been quite awhile since my last post. Life has been really busy and our home computer bit the dust so I do have some good excuses :). Actually the brake from the computer has been really nice and I feel like I accomplish so much more during the day when I dont have my computer tempting me to blog, facebook, surf the web, etc...

With life being really busy lately I am finding it very hard to keep my self on track with "MY" recovery process. I wish I could say that I am doing great, but the truth is lately I often find myself extremely overwhelmed and frustrated. I have also noticed that when I start slacking on working on myself I tend to really get at my husband for the things I feel like he isn't working on. Does anyone else ever find them selves doing this? I'm sure if I were to talk to our councilor about this he would have some technical term for what I am doing :). I am not working on me and rather than trying to improve, I am focusing my efforts on pointing out my husbands weaknesses and shortcomings. THIS CAN'T POSSIBLY BE HEALTHY or good for myself or my husband. I am happy though that I am at a point in my recovery process that I can SEE MY UNHEALTHY BEHAVIORS and have the desire to improve them. I know that I can't do the things I need to alone and that I HAVE to go to the Lord in prayer and ask for help. It is frustrating to me though that I KNOW WHAT I NEED TO DO, but for some reason it is so hard for me to do it! This week I am going to try as hard as I can to put the Lord first in all that I do and allow him to help me with the things I am struggling with.

No one likes to point out their own flaws, especially me, but I am also a very visual person, so here is my list of things I am struggling with, hopefully by writing them out I can start the process of working to improve this list. (***If you have any advise on ways to improve in any of these areas or things that work for you I would love to hear them***)

1. Patience (with my children, husband, and sometimes even myself)
2. Time management
3. Prayer and scripture study (personal, family, and couples)
4. Family Home Evening (having an ACTUAL FHE)
5. Exercize
6. Temple attendance
7. Visiting teaching
8. Housework
9. Playtime with my kids

Problem is I REALLY want to be "Super Mom" and it just isn't working out for me :) Turns out being a stay-at-home mother, a wife, and a student is quit the juggling act. I am totally kidding about the wanting to be SUPER MOM part, but I think most women can relate to the feeling of not being able to keep up.