Thursday, August 13, 2009

A Love Letter

Dear Hubby,
I love you SO MUCH! Being away from you for so long hurts so bad, I miss you and I need you in my life. As hard as this past month and a half has been, I am grateful for our time apart. I am not only grateful for the humility you have shown while the kids and I have been away but I am grateful for the answers that I have received from Heavenly Father about the choices I am to make. I have struggled for so long now to know if I should stay married to you, my heart has been broken so many times and I am so scared of the pattern continuing for the rest of our lives. I have never not wanted to be married to you, but I want things to be different and I am fearful that day may never come. I KNOW you can beat this, with help from the Lord you can rid your self of these ugly addictions that have taken over our life. I KNOW we are meant to be together, I didn't know that before I left. I am so grateful that Heavenly Father has answered that question for me. I love you, I love our children, and I want our Eternal Family to be together forever. It is time that you step up to the plate and LET Satan know that we will not go down with out a fight, he WILL NOT WIN THIS BATTLE!

I am truly sorry for not handling these trails in a more Christ like way. I not only hurt for myself but I hurt for you, I don't want you to have these addictions, I want you to be FREE from this. I don't like the person that I have become through all of this, these addictions, this evil has crept into my life as well. I have bitterness and anger that I need to overcome. I am grateful that dispite the times I have yelled, screamed, and balled in anger, hurt, and pain you have never once raised your voice to me or have called me a horrible name, you have always been there to hold me and comfort me. I wish that I could say the same, I wish I could have had the strength to handle all of this without so much anger. I know that we can do this together, if we truly turn our lives over to the Lord and put things in HIS HANDS, we CAN BEAT THIS!

I can't wait to see you, I am counting down the days! Our kids miss there DADDY so much, this has been so hard on them! I wish that they could have seen you throughout this time apart, but I know that you needed to be completely alone to truly grasp the magnitude of what could be lost. I need you to know that you are an incredible man, you are an amazing father, our children absolutely adore you, there little hearts are wishing for their daddy so much. You have the ability to do anything, be anything you want to be, I can't wait to see what you do with that. I admire your optimistic attitude on life, it doesn't matter how bad it gets, your glass is always half full. You are my Best Friend, One True Love, and Eternal Companion, despite all we have been through, I can't imagine my life without you! I am excited for our fresh start, a new job, a new home, a chance to start over.

With love,

Your Wife

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