(wife posting again)
It has been quit awhile since my husband or I have posted. We have had a lot going on lately, a big move, job change, etc... For now I thought I would post, but my husband plans to post within the next few days as well, he has just been very busy with work.
I am doing okay, I have mostly good days, but there are some bad days as well. Stressful situations seem to at times make things harder, and we sure have had our fair share of "stress" lately. There are a lot of reminders in daily life, a commercial, a billboard, etc... that at times can bring up a wave of emotions. I need to work on focusing on the good rather than the bad. But those that have experienced trials similar to ours I'm sure know how difficult it can be to not let things remind you of the pain that you are experiencing. I want other wives/husbands out there that are married to someone with addictions to know that they are NOT ALONE in how they are feeling. Just like having an addiction is a trial, being married to a person with addictions is a trial. There are some days that I don't know why I am still here and want out! But there are days that I feel humility, remorse, and strength from my husbands desires to change and it gives me hope. I can feel my Father in Heavens love for me, I know that he wants both my husband and I to get through this, he wants us to grow closer to him and to the Savior, and he wants us to move past this. I can feel the spirit in those dark moments and that is what reminds me of why I am still here and why I am still trying!
I hope that if you are suffering from addictions your self or if someone you love is suffering from addictions that you will reach out for help. Turn to the Lord in your time of need, pray, read your scriptures, attend your church meetings, give service to others, magnify your callings and go to the temple. These things are SO HARD to do when you are going through enormous trials, trust me I KNOW!! But the Lord allows us to go through trials so that we can learn, grow, and become closer to him. I am learning these things for myself (slowly but surely), I have so much work that I need to do and I pray that the Lord can give me the strength to accomplish these things.
Please feel free to email me anytime- firstname.lastname@example.org
ps- Has anyone heard of the Life Star Program? I don't know much about it, but have heard that it is a program specifically for those that suffer from Pornography (or other sexual) Addictions and their spouses. We are looking into the program and considering doing it together. I would love some input if anyone knows anything about it.
Their website is- http://www.lifestarnetwork.org/